Chapter 12 : Emma's Agony (Emma's POV)
I, Emma Anak, was born as a farmer's child in a small village called Kaana located in the north of Cranbell territory.
It's something I say myself but, I think I was able to grow up healthy in a warm home with kind parents.
Even after becoming an adult, I was able to welcome a caring childhood friend as my husband and have a child.
I was a little poor, but I was able to spend happy days.
And I thought that this happiness would last forever.
Until I was called by the Cranbell family as Luke-sama's nanny.......。
The eldest son of the Cranbell family, Luke-sama, was born in the same year that my child was born.
Along with that, Sebas-sama, the butler of the Cranbell family, asked me if I would like to become Luke-sama's wet nurse.
I haven't heard good rumors about the Cranbell family since some time ago.
I heard that the lord forcibly takes a woman he likes and makes her live in the mansion just to satisfy his desires.
Aren't they buying children with no relatives from other territories as slaves. I hear rumors like that.
So naturally, my husband and parents strongly opposed to me becoming a nanny.
However, unlike the rumors, Sebas-sama didn't try to take me by force, but gave me a choice.
Originally, it was something that the citizens of the fief had to gladly accept as their duty.
And that's not all. He also offered me a large reward.
It might be that he just called me out because its a proper job.
The moment I thought that, I was blinded by the word reward.
If I can get a reward from the Cranbell family, I can let my child receive an education.
If you weren't born into a noble family or a merchant, you wouldn't be able to earn enough money to receive an education.
That's why every peasant child longs for school at least once.
I might be able to send my child, to that school.
That feeling overcame my family's objections, and I was made to take care as Luke-sama's wet nurse.
Ten days after Sebas-sama visited Kaana Village, I left my child in the care of a friend and started living in the Cranbell family's mansion.
I was nervous and worried about my new job and new environment, but all the seniors at the mansion, including Sebas-sama, were kind, and my anxiety was quickly relieved and the tension was eased.
Lloyd-sama, the lord, is also a man of few words and always looks grumpy, but he didn't say anything particularly harsh or unreasonable, and nothing like rumors happened.
Rumors may have been just rumors.
I was beginning to believe that, but it wasn't that I was wrong.
The former lord and his son, Lloyd-sama's father and brother were just as rumored, no, more than rumors, I heard from my seniors in a vague way.
At that time, I considered myself lucky.
The previous lord and his son died in a fire a few months before I came to the mansion.
Thinking about it now, maybe I was wrong to think so.
Perhaps I was punished for thinking that I was lucky that the two of them died.
About two months after arriving at the mansion, Kaana Village was hit by a flood caused by heavy rain.
Nearly half the houses in the village, including my family's house which was built at the foot of the mountain, became part of the mountain due to the landslide.
I was in the mansion and wanted to jump out and go to Kaana village as soon as possible.
However, to leave the side of young Luke-sama who pestered for milk, I couldn't do it.
While devoting myself at Luke-sama's child-rearing at the mansion, every day I pray for the safety of my family.
However, that wish does not come true.
To begin with, it is a wish that should never come true.
It was three days after the heavy rain ended that I heard the news of Kaana Village.
During that time, no one came to the rescue.
The people of Kaana Village who were left behind, and the people of other villages, were all busy with their own lives and had no time to spare for rescue operations.
Due to the lack of manpower in the Cranbell territory, there is still no prospect of reconstruction.
My family, my friends, and the people I knew from the village were still underneath massive of dirt even after two years had passed.
The surviving villagers dispersed and moved to other villages.
Kaana Village, where people are gone and the terrain has changed, is no longer a place that can be called home.
I lost my home and my family all at once.
Some people call me lucky.
They said I was saved because I was called by the Cranbell family to be Luke-sama's wet nurse.
But I didn't see myself that way.
I was left behind.
I was the only one left.
I, wanted to be by Karen's side.
♦ ♦ ♦
Thanks to Sebas-sama's arrangements, even after Luke-sama finished his breastfeeding period, I was able to work in the mansion as Luke-sama's caretaker.
From this, on top of me living, it also ensured my livelihood.
I was educated as a caretaker, and received an education that I could never have acquired as a farmer.
The days pass when I use the education I received for Luke-sama.
As the days passed by, I thought that I would love and raise Luke-sama in place of my child I lost.
And yet, selfish thoughts keep running through my head.
If Sebas-sama hadn't visited Kaana Village at that time, and if Luke-sama hadn't been born in the same year as Karen, I wouldn't have been left behind.
There were times when I felt hatred for Luke-sama, who grew up without any inconvenience.
Even though I knew how selfish that feeling was, I couldn't help but embrace it.
I sometimes thought that raising Luke-sama would be a betrayal of my child.
I spent my time with both love and hate.
From now on, I will continue to live while being hold between these two emotions.
So, I thought.
However, an event changed that feeling.
That event was a word that Luke-sama thought of Arche.
Arche, who became Erina-sama's wet nurse, entrusts her children to the village just like me.
I was uneasy.
What if some kind of accident happens again like that time?
It's precisely for that reason, that I sometimes hate Luke-sama who doesn't know and without thinking of anything, cares and dote on Erina-sama.
However.
Luke-sama, who I thought was just purely loving Erina-sama, said to Arche, "Doesn't Arche have a child?" he asked.
And when Luke-sama learned that Arche had a child, he spoke up.
"It’s about prioritizing Erina over your own child. It’s true that Erina is the cutest, but for parents, their children are number one priority. Even Arche's children should want to be with their mother."
Doting on her to that extent and giving priority to Erina-sama is the thing that is strange, that's what he said.
How did Luke-sama, a two-year-old child, come up with such an idea.
Did he think Arche had a child.
Does he know how hard it is for parents not to be with their children.
There were many things that made me wonder.
However, It's not something important to be worried about.
There is no change, in the fact that Luke-sama is a kind-hearted person.
Luke-sama, who tries to understand people's feelings even though he is young, thinks and acts.
To such Luke-sama, I arbitrarily decided that he was a child who didn't know anything, and all I could do was direct my hatred toward him.
At the same time as I was ashamed of my thoughts until now, I gently hugged Luke-sama, apologized in my heart, and swore.
I will support this person for the rest of my life.
From that day onwards, I no longer felt any hatred.
That's what I thought but...... it turns out it wasn't.
TL: Maza Miya
Editor: Maza Miya
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